There is a popular belief that fathers never have custody of their children. This is due to the historical fact that mothers were in charge of the family’s well-being while fathers were the breadwinners. It was natural for the court to award custody to the mother because she was the one who was most responsible for their well-being at the time. It was in the child’s best interests to be with their mother. That is still the case: a judge will award custody to a parent if it is in the child’s best interests.

In today’s world, both parents are usually the primary breadwinners. However, most often than not, fathers are treated unfairly in custody disputes, and they get deprived of the right to be involved in their child’s life. There is still no equal right for both parents.

In order to get equal shared custody, the question you have to ask yourself is: ‘would it be in the best interests of your child for me to have 50% custody?’ If the answer is ‘No’, the court obviously won’t be in your favor. If the answer is ‘Yes’, there is a very good chance that you would get equal shared custody. You have to convince the court and prove that you are as capable as the mother of taking good care of your child. Here are six tips to increase your chances of getting equal shared parenting. These are the things a judge would look out for before deciding who the kids would stay with;




  1. Be cooperative. Follow the law. Pay the child’s support. Even if you can’t pay the whole thing, it is much better to pay what you can.
  2. Unless there is a very good reason and evidence, do not attempt to alienate the mother—that is, do not turn the child against the mother. A child deserves both parents. A bad conflict between you and the mom puts your child in a difficult position, and you definitely don’t want that. Your priority should be what is in your child’s best interests. Ensure that you create a stable, loving atmosphere for your child. Try as much as possible to reduce conflict with your ex. Do this by communicating. A child has the right to be given parental care by both parents.
  3. Ensure that you move close to where your child resides. A judge is more likely to give you equal shared custody over your child if you live close to them or go to their school regularly. Living far from your child does not help your case as your presence would be rarely felt. Living close to your child makes it easier for you to be actively engaged in your child’s affairs.
  4. Ensure that you are actively involved in the parenting of your child. Do not leave all the parenting responsibilities to the mother. Whenever you visit, provide for your child’s basic needs, teach your child morals and values, pay attention to what goes on with your child, etc. Be an active part of your child’s life.
  5. Ensure that you have a decent living environment for your child. Provide a safe environment for your child so that they would be in a conducive environment if the judge grants you custody.
  6. Ensure that you make out time for your kids. Take your child to school, attend their presentations, take them to the park, attend parent-teacher conferences, etc. A judge is not likely to give you parenting time if you are never available.

No matter what happens, make sure that whatever you do is in the best interests of your child. Do this and you would have a higher chance of getting equal shared custody.